by Khalilah Jonea | Photos by Kristen Finn and Anica Marcelino

Hey friends! I have been confronted with a few situations lately and had something on my heart that I wanted to share. I know that my Sisters and all the GWORLS (if I may use a cute colloquialism), can relate. If you’re a Black woman, you’ve probably found yourself walking a tightrope that feels like it was designed by some twisted circus master. You’re told “you’re too loud,” but also asked why you’re so quiet. You’re praised for your resilience but chastised for your attitude. In the world of fashion, the workplace, relationships, and heck, in society in general, Black women are navigating a maze that’s often invisible to everyone else. Let’s break it down.

Fashion: Serving Looks and Stereotypes 

Black women have always been trendsetters. From banging out braids and amazing afros to making streetwear chic, we’re the blueprint. Here’s the kicker: while our style is constantly imitated, we’re often criticized for it. Have you ever been told your natural hair is unprofessional? Or that your curves are too much for the office? Welcome to my world. 

It’s a diabolical ride trying to stay fly while battling stereotypes. You see a white girl in cornrows, she’s considered “edgy.” You wear them, and it’s “ghetto.” We’re expected to tone down our essence to fit into a mold that was never meant for us, but guess what? We’re done dimming our light. It’s 2024, and I encourage you to unapologetically embrace your style, whether it fits mainstream standards or not. 

Photo by Anica Marcelino

The Workforce: Boss Moves and Backhanded Compliments 

Now, let’s talk about work. Black women are out here making boss moves, climbing the corporate ladder, and slaying glass ceilings, but let’s keep it 100—it’s not always a fair game. We’re often overqualified yet overlooked. You’re either the “token diversity hire,” or you’re not “a good fit.” 

Then there’s the infamous “angry Black woman” trope. Dare to speak up in a meeting? You’re aggressive. Stay silent? You’re not engaged. It’s exhausting playing this never-ending game of “professionalism” that feels like it was designed to keep us on our toes and jumping through endless hoops, but here’s the tea: Black women are rewriting the rules. We’re creating spaces that celebrate our voices and pushing for diversity that’s not just a box to tick but a fundamental change in culture. 

Relationships with Men: Love, Loyalty, and Liberation

On to relationships. If you’re like most Black women, you’ve likely been bombarded with all sorts of mixed messages. Society tells us to be strong but submissive, nurturing but independent. It’s like they want us to be superheroes with no room for vulnerability

Dating as a Black woman can feel like a minefield. We’re either fetishized or disregarded. Some men see us as exotic trophies, while others buy into stereotypes that paint us as undesirable. However, I will let you in on a secret—Black women are and always will be, magic. We bring love, loyalty, and a depth of understanding that’s unparalleled. The key is finding partners who see us as equals, who respect our strength without trying to diminish it.

Our Role in Society: The Backbone and the Spotlight 

Black women have always been the backbone of society. We’re the ones holding it down in our communities, advocating for change, and setting trends that everyone else follows. Yet, our contributions are often minimized or ignored. It’s a wrap for that jack! We’re no longer waiting for validation. We’re claiming our space, telling our stories, and demanding the recognition we deserve. Whether it’s in activism, art, business, or politics, Black women are leading the charge. And we’re doing it with that special razzle dazzle that’s uniquely our own. 

Embrace the Dichotomy 

Living at the intersection of too much yet not enough is a balancing act that only Black women truly understand. We’re constantly told to shrink ourselves while being expected to carry the weight of the world. She walks with the universe on her shoulders and somehow, seamlessly makes it look like a pair of wings. It is in this dichotomy that we find our strength. We’re redefining what it means to be a Black woman in every space we occupy. 

So, to all the Black women out there: keep being too much! Keep breaking barriers and challenging norms. Because in a world that often tries to tell us we’re not enough, we are everything and more. 

Stylishly Yours,

Khalilah